Alexander the Gay.. sorry Great!!!
Oliver Stone is not a happy man. It would seem that his latast film "Alexander" has not lived up to the success of the man himself. Apparently US audiences have not been too happy with the implied homosexuality of the character. I say implied, but short of saying "I am the only the gay in the village" (Sorry. I have recently dicovered Little Britain, which I must say is a fantastic programme- funny how by not being at home whole phenomena pass you by) it couldn't really be more obvious, but this didn't go down too well stateside.If you haven't seen the film it goes something like this: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. (Wrong film!!!) But anyway, over two millenia ago, before ancient Greece was ancient, and Socrates was more than a European exchange programme, Hannibal Lecter is recounting the story of his adventures with Alexander the Great, son of Lara Croft and Batman. Big Al first appears wrestling (one can only assume Greco-roman wrestling- WWF was never like this!!!) with his "friend". Cut to the future.
Now 18, and with his roots dyed peroxide blond, Big Al witnesses the death of his father, and becomes King. He decides to lead his army to discover the Nile (by passing through India!!!!). On the way there is a battle with the King of Babylonia. Inspite of a speech which Mel Gibson would be proud of (Freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), this King escapes but they manage to take the city- cue hanging gardens, dancing girls(, and boys!!!). After this they spend the rest of the film looking for this King, until they find him. They kill him!!! Then Big Al marries some local girl to promote better cultural exchange!! His "friend" is pissed off, but gives him a ring to remember him. 'Er indoors doesn't like the ring and throws it away. They try to have a baby without success.
Big Al discovers rest of known world. (Obvious really. He can't discover unknown world, otherwise we would know about it!! Duh!!) After battle with elephants they decide to go home. Big Al's "friend" dies and he becomes unconsolable. After an OscarTM death scene from Colin Farrell's right hand, the film end with with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. And all in 180 minutes.
Ok, the film is not the worst film in the world, and if you are going to see it, see it on the big screen, but there has been a whole lot of fuss over a few stolen glances from Al and his "friend".
On a similar subject, I thought I'd tell you about an article in the newspaper, which I was going to plagiarise and pass off as my own, but decided better of it. A few weeks before Christmas a programme called "The G Team" started on TV (I think the English version is Queer Eye for the Straight guy) but in the past week has been pulled for lack of audience. In it a group of gays make over a straight man into a, for want of a better word, metrosexual.
The point of the article is twofold. One: Who decided that the way gay men dress, live, etc is neccessarily better that the of your typical BLOKE, and two: Imagine the outrage that there would be if a group of 5 straight guys took a homosexual and made him more ___________( please fill in with an appropriate word!!)
Food for thought! And none of your poncy nouvelle cuisine neither. Man's food, cooked a man's way!!!!
posted by SG @ 2:50 p. m.
<< Home