Three Men and a Football
Well, it seems that I am far from the only Englishman to decide to set up home in Madrid.After Dave last year, Mike and John have come to join the folds of the galacticos. Of course, living here is where the comparison ends! Whilst they have multimillion euro four-year contracts with advertising agreements, I have a multicent contract which expires in June and is not worth the paper it is written on. And I don't even get a company T-shirt!! Still can't complain, at least I can get horrendously pissed and hit on my personal assistant (were I to actually have one) without fear of it being splashed all over the papers...
Meanwhile back in the real (no pun intended) world, I hope you are all doing ok. I know that in my Berlin gospel I had said that I would write upon my return to Spain, that I would have more time, etc, etc. But, the fact was that when I did get back to Madrid (400€ poorer after having spent far too much money on Czech beer), I really couln't be arsed and so dedicated my time to working on my tan, which is, as ever, pathetic.
Still I am not downhearted about this and am continuing with my aim to be able to go back home without people saying, and I quote, "You live in Spain. But, you´re not very brown, are you?" This rather astute observation is usually accompanied by a look which says "You should have spent more time on the beach!!!!" I would like to point out, for those whose geography fails them at this point, that Madrid is, like many other cities such as Birmingham, to take a city at random, miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiles (or should that be kilooooooooooooometres?) away from the sea, and is also far too hot to be doing stupid thing like sitting on a terrace at 2 in the afternoon, when a far more sensible thing to do is to stay in your nice airconditioned house until about midnight when the temperature drops below 25 and go out and have a few cold ones...
And, since I have never really been metrosexual, another difference between me and Dave, am not really all that bothered by the whole tan thing anyway (By the way does that word ·"metrosexual" exist in the English vocabulary? It is used here to describe men who take care of their appearance, fake tans, manicures, and the like).
I am however looking at joining a gym (Don't laugh!), because I have come to realise that I have, in spite of living on the fifth floor without a lift, I have put on a few too many kilos. I say looking because the only one I have seen so far requires you to pay the whole year up front and because there is exists a (slim) possibility of me giving the whole thing up after 2 months it´s a bit of a waste of money. But I am perservering with my quest to find a suitable establishment.
Watch Bodybuilder Monthly for updates on this exciting new venture!! Or else just fall about laughing and say he´ll never do it and you may well be right!!
posted by SG @ 2:35 p. m.
